Today I drove to Brandon to pick up your paw casting. It was the final piece to your passing. Our memorial will be private,I will honor you in style.
I packed a small suitcase with your picture in in and some clothes. I didn't think I could go back home right now. I cleaned the house, did my errands and left a note. As I drove I kept singing because if I allowed myself to think, I would cry and I didn't want to cry. If I cry, I stop breathing because my cries are like sobs. Our neighbor thinks it's disturbing. I think he is an asshole for saying it, so we are even.
I was met by a very lovely lady who hand delivered your paw print to me. We had spoke in the past and she was very lovely. She was very sorry and I expressed my dislike for the ER vet. I praised Dr. E for her help and care, but thought the ER vet was horrible.
We chatted a minute and I knew it was time to get in the car. I was calm and steady, I texted Aunt Ronnie and asked if she was free. She immediately replied yes and I called. She knew instinctively I needed her to talk me through the drive home. We chatted about you and then Politics, and the weather, the a puppy bulldog and life. She stayed by myside as I drove back home.
Once inside I threw the note away and unpacked. I know Maggie needs me and I know I will be ok, somehow, some way you will make me a better person. The Wrinkle Ranch will continue, our No Bulldog left behind will continue, without even batting an eye, my love for you will continue.
Tomorrow is Mother's day - which has been a huge day for you and I. I remember you taking me to brunch at the Bistro in Clearwater and we sat on the patio. We were dressed up and you stole the hearts of everyone who passed by us. You were the best dressed man there. Tomorrow I will make breakfast for Mags and I will think of how you would jump in my bed,give me budgies and step on my boobs. I miss you so much.
Love to the moon and back.
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