Wine and Relationships

Mom has been on sick bed for a few days, and last night she was over being in bed. Her girlfriend Lolly called and said come with me to this Wine and Relationship outing at the Pig. (that's the nickname they call this place). So Mom said sure, what the heck.

25 women, several cases of wine and some of the most 1950's advice you will ever hear.

The speaker had a topic of  "How to keep your man happy at home"... Now at first with the wine thing, Mom was thinking "toys" "creams" "sexy lingerie"... Oh no, not even close.

1.  Always make sure his favorite foods are plentiful in the house.      
2. If there is an extra piece of anything, it always goes to the man.
3.  Keep the house as clean as his Mother's.
4. Always freshly shower before he gets home and apply makeup.
5. Never complain about your day until he is fully unwound.
6. Surprise him with "guy" time
7. Never make a big deal about missed events
8. Keep your side of the closet very neat
9. Always thank him for providing a wonderful home
10. He is always right, if in doubt, he is ALWAYS right.

Mommy was waiting for the punchline, and clearly when it didn't arrive, she began to make her own punchlines.  This lady was top dog serious and asked Mommy how many times had she been divorced... Oh no she didn't... Mom was polite and said I'll tell you mine if you share your's... This crack pot has been divorced 3 times... My Mom is a total rookie, only once and she lives with the dude she divorced. So I think it's only .5 divorce.

So keeping in true Mom fashion, she challenged each and every factoid, lady was befuddled. The wine wasn't nearly plentiful to swallow this load of b.s.

In final Mom said and what is the mans responsibility for keeping the woman happy at home?
Because food, extra pieces, showers, complaints, girl time, missed events, closet neatness, thankfulness and being right has nothing to do with the emotional, physical and spiritual needs a person longs for. NOT to mention Mom has made MORE money than most of her men in her life and therefore, shouldn't she be the one being waited on? Hmmm...

She left only to find Gunner's daddy had picked up her dry cleaning, vacuumed and left a check for the clean sheet lady... Maybe she should teach that class...